Pre-Marital
Pre-Commitment
Counseling

Couples who have made it to the point in their relationship where they are considering a walk down the aisle, filled with the love and their ideas of a bright future together, often have not given thought to what happens if real issues develop in their relationship – financial difficulties, extended family conflicts, loss of a job, the loss of connection with their partner – many life events can cause stressors in a relationship. Relationships need to be tended to, expectations are often unreasonably high, and bonds can crumble if there is not a solid foundation already in place.

Pre-Marital / Pre-Commitment Counseling

My work with pre-marital / pre-commitment partners is designed to examine not just today’s issues, but how you will work as partners as time passes and different stresses are brought into the relationship. We will work together to develop the skills that are supportive during difficult times, as well as how you deal with the small things that need attention from time to time.

If couples are willing to work to understand both their own history and the history of a partner, this will provide a deeper understanding of the relational dynamics each of you bring to your relationship. My role is to hold space for couples to build an understanding of each other, discuss what did not work in past relationships, how to communicate without playing the blame game, and resolve issues with honesty, compassion and commitment.  Learning about your similarities and differences and how they work for or against you, you will develop skills that will help you set the rules for a supportive relationship and how to avoid battles before you repeat them.

Considering Re-Marriage after Divorce

Most couples in second marriages also bring children with them, which means that along with all the romance comes practical aspects of managing not just one, but two families. That means shuttling children around to and from exes’ houses, splitting holidays and helping each others’ kids (who may not like you) with homework, dance recitals and soccer practice. That also means that you may not have the time together that you wish because you’re splitting it with both partner’s children. All the challenges and to-do’s of one family is hard enough ― two families makes it even harder.

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Whether you're considering your first or a consecutive marriage, some areas that may need some added attention to support a successful future relationship, include:

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• Modeling an equal, loving partnership

• Transforming struggle into teamwork

•  How to collaborate when your “method” is not working

• Building solid communication and conflict resolution skills

• Learning to identify red flags that one or both parties choose to ignore

• How to collaborate and communicate differently in your current relationship

• Learn strategies to turn conflict into compromise, identify how your relationship is working or where it doesn't work before taking issues into marriage